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Moving day again. The familiar motions of packing cardboard boxes, taping them, labeling the boxes, and loading them into my pickup truck come easily to me. I’ve certainly done it enough.
Perhaps my earliest memory is of a moving day. I was perhaps four, and I remember very clearly the feelings of confusion and loss. I had never moved before. The images come readily to my mind, too. What always struck me as funny is how I see the images. It is as if I’m watching it from a field. I can see the blue and cream truck bright against the dusty hills of rural Oregon. I see the boxes piled in the back. But I’m not in the truck. I’m not watching it be packed up. I’m standing in a field watching the truck pass by on its way to the new home. Even now I wonder about the detachment of such a memory.
My mom is always telling me that I’m detached. “Why can’t you ever just settle down?” she asks me. “I’m not saying marriage. I’m not saying kids. I’m just saying, stay in one place for some length of time. Make some connections. Get some friends,” she tells me often enough it hurts.
“I have friends,” I always tell her. Whenever I move I join gyms and book clubs and other social groups. I’m still in contact with my college buddies. We get together every so often for drinks. My mom likes to point out that I switched colleges and majors three times. It’s easy to find someone to get together with from such a huge group of college buddies.
I don’t mind the moving. I’ve moved at least once a year since I left my parents’ house at 18. I love the feeling of freedom, not being tied down to a certain location or belongings. When I suddenly get the itch to try a new job or city out, I do. It literally feels like an itch, too. The feeling wells up in my stomach and spreads behind my shoulder blades. And I just have to get going.
Sure, I don’t get involved in serious relationships. This doesn’t bother me, either. Most guys my age are still out partying. They aren’t ready to be serious anyways. Casual dating these flippant boys is just fine by me.
Today is a good day for moving. The sun is high, but a light breeze is blowing. This time around I decided I needed a new apartment. I was living in a cheap little basement place. I just couldn’t handle the lack of light anymore. I found a nice place across town in a sort of singles’ building. I figured I may as well enjoy the high life for a while.
I filled the bed of my pickup and headed over to the new building. I carried a couple boxes in and reveled in the feel of a new place. There is absolutely nothing like it. On the second trip, I fumbled with the front door. A guy rushed up to help me. He grabbed the boxes and offered to carry them up.
He was cute. Talking around the boxes, he said, “I’m Nick.”
“Nice to meet you. Thanks for the help. I’m Dinah.”
Nick smiled. His eyes crinkled when he smiled. He was adorable. “Hey no problem. It’s good to meet you.” He carried the boxes up into her new apartment.
“So how’s this building?” I asked. “A happening place?”
“Oh yeah, definitely. I loved living here,” he said.
“Loved living here? In the past tense?”
Nick replied, “Yeah. I’m actually moving out today.”
I tried to hide my disappointment. “Where to?”
“Up north. I got a promotion, and my company is moving up to Seattle.”
“Oh well that’s cool. I love Seattle. I used to live there a couple years ago,” I said.
“Moving today, moved from Seattle a couple years ago. You must move a bunch,” he said.
“Yeah, kinda. I like to try out new things,” I said.
“Ooh, you’re a better man than I am,” Nick replied. “I hate moving. This little move has taken a lot out of me.”
Wow, he can’t be more different than I am. I decided to bluff. “Yeah, sometimes it can be tough.”
“At least I’ll be closer to my fiancée. That will be nice,” he said.
I was crushed. This guy was too cute. “Oh I bet. Anyways, I better let you go. We both gotta finish moving.”
Nick nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so. Anyways, nice to have met you. Have a good move. This building is great.”
“Yeah thanks. You too. Bye.”
He waved and walked out of the building. Moving day was not turning out as great as I thought it would.
